First Time on My Own

Day 9 Prompt: Memory – College/First time away from home.

Write about your first experiences ‘out of the nest’, whatever age that was. A time when you first felt yourself making decisions and having to survive free/independent of the ‘adults’ in your life.

While it was not the first time out of the nest exactly – the night my parents kicked me out is really when I was on my own. They didn’t want me to go, I didn’t want to go – but their ultimatums caught up with them. They had said that when the results of my California Proficiency Exam had arrived, they were going to kick me out and I would be on my own. At that point, with a high school education, they felt they had done their duty and they were done. I agreed. I couldn’t wait to start living my life on my own, and yet this moment was fraught with anger and betrayal. But I shouldn’t have expected this to be easy, when it came to my life, things were never easy.

Another member of the family who was living with us at the time discovered that my parents were keeping the results from me. He was tired of our bickering so he made it known. Everything came to a head and I was out on the street that night. It was a hard night, but one I had to have. At that point there was really no turning back and I had to start making my own way as an adult. It taught me a valuable lesson about being true to one’s word.

Eventually, I found my way from homelessness – and in time I found employment and roommates. I could not have done this without the support of my friends along the way.

The life I had as a teen shaped me and molded me into the person I am today. I could have chosen to be more angry and bitter. I could have chosen to become manipulative, like my “mother”, and if not for some particularly good friends who slapped some sense into me I might have. I silently thank that particular friend every time I think of that moment. He taught me a very good lesson about why being an emotional blackmailer is bad and almost literally put the fear of the consequences of my actions into me.

Sometimes I wish that my life had been easier, that my parents more loving and supportive, but if they had been I do not think I would be who I am today. I have a deep knowledge and understanding of what it means to be without emotional support – so I do my best to give it to others where and when I can. I know what it is like to be without a home or food, and I am thankful that I am blessed with bounty today.